Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The adults are the big ones right?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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