ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
