Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
there was a trapeze. enough said
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize