is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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