Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
