mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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