I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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