I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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