And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
