and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
