the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
