Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
soo... how was my night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
