He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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