Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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