It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
