My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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