So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
