It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just pynch a tree in the face
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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