Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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