That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
