you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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