would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
