Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
North Korea, Best Korea!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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