I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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