all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
