You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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