Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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