so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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