Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
