It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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