Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
