my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
