so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize