I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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