Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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