I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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