so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
