I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
