Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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