OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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