i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
