on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
