whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
