Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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