Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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