I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
