no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
