I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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