i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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