He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
