i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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