I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize