I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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