You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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