Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
