I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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