How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
